Tuesday

10 Signs of Stupid Tourists

Tourists. They are everywhere in major cities. Tourists are the reasons smaller, poorer cities have more peace and quiet. Tourists can be from another continent or from a neighboring state or even county. Cities like Las Vegas survive and exist solely because of tourists and vacationists, while cities like San Francisco thrive because of tourists. While tourists are humans just like any other human being living in a major city, there is a very popular class of tourists that tends to act typically stupid.

Such stupidity in tourists usually stems from the idea that the new land tourists visit requires a lot of planning in terms of figuring out what things to do there and no planning in terms of figuring out how to do things there. Tourists simply act tourists and get away with it. A normal, non-homeless person acting in such manners would get yelled at or beaten up by upset people, but in the case of a tourist people usually realize that stupidity cannot be beaten out of a stupid tourist. So many cities, like San Francisco where I live, kind of suffer every day because of stupid tourists from other countries and towns acting stupid around everyone and everywhere.

Here are 10 signs of stupid tourists to help you decide whether you are one, or if you have ever run into one. Each and every point mentioned below gets observed by me almost every week.

10 Signs You May be a Stupid Tourist


  1. You stand and take pictures in the middle of busy roads.If you are a stupid tourist, you probably do something that majority of owners of Canon and Nikon DSLR cameras do in the middle of the roads during heavy traffic: take pictures. These stupid tourists, or you, forget the fact that standing in the middle of the road can cause inconvenience to drivers and other pedestrians alike. However, just because you are a tourist in another land, the excitement of showing off your camera and taking pictures of some amazing new place to cherish in your own boring home overtakes your common sense of realizing whether or not standing in the middle of the road can be dangerous.
  2. You stop in the middle of busy walk lanes to roll out your maps and other things.This may be one of the biggest observable trends you can notice almost every hour in cities like San Francisco or Paris. Tourists will stop in the middle of walk lanes and walkways, regardless of where they may be, and pull out maps and tour guide books to figure out where they are. This affects everyone else walking around them who realizes what standing on the side means. While stupid tourists think that stopping in the middle of anywhere can help them figure out where they were, what they are actually doing is making other people around them forget where they were.
  3. You think what you see in tourist spots represents the country.Millions of tourists coming to America actually go to the tourist spots in international cities like San Francisco, Berkeley and New York to try and see what America is all about. What they are forgetting is that the tourist spots are all basically fake versions of high priced and low quality item businesses created solely to attracts stupid tourist suckers with 10 special traits in order to get their money. The real America, that feeds on money through other channels, lives and thrives elsewhere, by the way, within those same cities. It is actually very funny for me to see how tourists can think they know what America feels like by visiting around 5 or 6 tourist spots in San Francisco for about an hour each.
  4. You take pictures of people with the flash on.If you are enlisting in the Army or the Marines, be sure to spend at least a week walking around daily in a major tourist city to have tourists flash their flashes into your eyes. That will train you to hold out longer in interrogations in case you get captured behind enemy lines once you get deployed into any war or conflict.
  5. You wear a big backpack that knocks everyone in the face around you.This is the most typical trend among European tourists in America, and I am not sure why. No other region in the world does this as much. In fact, even saying Europeans would be generalizing it a lot, since I have never seen any Italian, British or Turkish people do this, though other people from other European countries do this a lot. Carrying a heavy duty and fully loaded backpack in San Francisco means you are either a homeless person or a stupid tourist who thinks that the trip back to your hotel room may be full of obstacles and hurdles that the objects in your backpack can help you with. And the most interesting thing is that you can easily figure out that such tourists only bought the backpack for the tourism trip: they do not know how to manage the backpack, resulting in knocking off or about everyone around them while they walk.
  6. You visit another country only to hang out and dine with people from your own background country and culture.Why leave a country and go elsewhere when you have no interest in mingling with newer or different ideas and people? It is like someone from Missouri going to another state and hanging out only at Southern-oriented restaurants and people there, and someone from France hanging around French restaurants only. Almost every time I leave the San Francisco airport on the train without luggage, someone with luggage and their recently used boarding pass asks me which station to get off at for China Town or Japantown.
  7. You forget common sense back in your home.So many tourists act so stupid, they may be one of the big reasons why so many cultures and people are stereotyped with stupid trends. When in doubt, simply ask. It is better to ask someone if you can sit next to someone in a small open space on the tram instead of butting your way in and then saying “sorry.” It is better to ask why people stand on the right side of escalators instead of stopping on the left hand side to have your picture taken and in the process block the path for anyone who wishes to pass by quickly from that left side that is usually kept empty for people who want to quickly pass by. Remember: when in doubt, ask. A person getting mad or laughing at you for asking a sincere, honest and innocent question that you do not know the answer to is a fool, idiot or stupid person him/herself.
  8. Learn some local language if possible.The biggest problem people face when trying to understand and answer tourists in America stems from the fact that many people simply do not know anything other than English. While many can call that a stupid thing for several good reasons, it is the tourist that is the stupid person who focuses only on learning the names of tourist spots and not any useful words in the language of the place they are visiting. The biggest problem in such situations is the incapacity for the tourist to explain themselves and the incapacity of the listener to understand what is being asked or told. Try to learn a language or two before coming, or even some sentences. When in doubt, ask someone around what the local language term for something is. Remember one thing if you must from this entire article: when in doubt or if you do not know anything, ask.
  9. You think everyone is willing to stop and take your pictures with your camera for you.It’s funny how many tourists will usually carry a serious face as if they are suffering from constipation, yet they throw a big smile on their face when they tag me down to take their picture. This goes for every tourist from any country in the world visiting any country in the world. Oh, and the time when you actually tell a tourist you have no time or interest in taking their picture? The stupid tourist throws on their grouchy attitude again, as if you were born and raised to take their picture with their camera. I have never seen an Asian tourist ask me to take their picture, but every month at least 2 or more European or Indian tourists ask me or someone around me to take their individual or family picture and get upset if sometimes I am too busy or occupied with other things to do so.
  10. Wear proper clothing and have proper apparel to ensure others are not bothered because of you.The same way American tourists act stupid by going into Italian churches, Thai temples and Spanish mosques in other countries wearing shorts that actually offends the people in such places, millions of tourists coming to America actually wear clothing that ends up bothering others not because such clothing is different, but because it is very disgusting by being physically bothersome. In a city like San Francisco where you usually have to cram up with hundreds of other people inside buses, trains and trams to get to another part of the city, wearing shorts or scarfs that result in your bare shaved or unshaved legs rubbing against people’s bodies and clothes or your scarfs getting into someone’s mouth or eyes means you are a person who has no sense of control over your fashion and no sense of keeping your things to yourself.
  11. BONUS STUPIDITY: Assume that the “locals” know of all the touristy spots.This may be the funniest sign of stupid tourists. Many tourists assume that everyone living in a city knows everything about that city. No, stupid tourist, I do not know where that spot listed on your tour guide book is. I try not to act like a tourist even when I go to other new places, which is why I only know the real good spots where regular humans go to enjoy and live around. Your stupid tourist guidebook is what many people, including myself in the Bay Area, look at before deciding which place to possible avoid renting or buying a home at.

Do you act like a stupid tourist?

Based on the above great stupid signs of tourist people, do you think you have ever acted like such a tourist? Have you encountered or heard about such tourists? Do you think any of the above points does not imply that a tourist is stupid?

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