Stupid Animal Joke
Q: Why are four-legged animals bad dancers?
A: Because they have two left feet.
A: Because they have two left feet.
Funny Dog Joke
Q: What happened when the dog went to the flea circus? A: He stole the show!
Funny Elephant Joke
Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a fish? A: Swimming trunks!
Funny Canary Joke
What do you get when a canary gets caught in a lawnmower? Shredded Tweet
Stupid Snake Joke
Why is it so hard to fool a snake? Because you can’t pull its leg.
Another Really Stupid Chicken Joke
Why was the chicken team so bad at baseball? They kept on hitting fowl balls.
A REALLY Stupid Animal Joke
A monkey, a bear, a cockatoo, a gerbil, and a rhinoceros all stood under the same umbrella. Who got wet?
Nobody. It wasn’t raining silly.
Nobody. It wasn’t raining silly.
Stupid Circus Joke
Did you hear that the world’s tallest man got fired from the circus?
Yeah, he was concerned about his cholesterol, so he switched from butter to Crisco. Unfortunately, he didn’t realize it was shortening.
Yeah, he was concerned about his cholesterol, so he switched from butter to Crisco. Unfortunately, he didn’t realize it was shortening.
Funny Parachute Joke
There was this proud and cocky team of guys that made parachutes at Bitburg Air Base in Germany. They were so cocky that they posted a sign outside their shop: Depend on Us to Let You Down.
Funny Blonde Joke: The Haircut
The blonde just got her hair cut and the barber handed the blonde a mirror so that the blonde could look at her hair. After a few seconds of looking the blonde said, “It looks great; but could you make it a little longer in the back?”
Stupid Blonde Joke: The Gun
Suspicious about her husband cheating on her, the blonde quickly bought a gun. When the blonde got home, she found her husband with another woman. Upset, the blonde took out the gun and pointed it towards her head. The husband begged her not to shoot herself. Then the blonde yelled, “Shut up! You’re next!”Blonde Joke: The Plane Crash
Rain, hail, lightning, and turbulence shook the plane that was filled with panicking passengers. Everybody in the plane was sure that they would die. Then, this one woman stood up and yelled, “I don’t want to die in fear; I want to die feeling like a woman!” In the back of the plane, a muscular man stood up and took off his shirt.
“So you want to feel like a woman?” asked the man.
“YES I DO!” said the woman.
The man handed the shirt to the woman and said, “Then iron this.”
“So you want to feel like a woman?” asked the man.
“YES I DO!” said the woman.
The man handed the shirt to the woman and said, “Then iron this.”
Blonde joke: The Lottery
The husband ran into the house screaming, “Hey, I just won the lottery!!”
“Oh wonderful!” said the wife. “Should I pack for the mountains or the beach?”
“I don’t care, just get the heck out!”
“Oh wonderful!” said the wife. “Should I pack for the mountains or the beach?”
“I don’t care, just get the heck out!”
Funny Relationship Joke
One day, as a husband was reading the Sunday paper, his wife smacked him upside the head with a frying pan.
“What was that for?” cried the husband.
“I was doing your laundry when I found a piece of paper with the name of Marylou on it!” screamed the wife. “Who is she? Are you cheating on me?”
“Honey don’t worry. Remember when I went to the horse race three weeks ago with my friends? Marylou was the name of the horse I was betting on.
Satisfied, the wife continued doing the laundry. A few hours later, the wife smacked the husband with a frying pan again.
“What was that for?” said the annoyed husband.
“Your horse called.”
“What was that for?” cried the husband.
“I was doing your laundry when I found a piece of paper with the name of Marylou on it!” screamed the wife. “Who is she? Are you cheating on me?”
“Honey don’t worry. Remember when I went to the horse race three weeks ago with my friends? Marylou was the name of the horse I was betting on.
Satisfied, the wife continued doing the laundry. A few hours later, the wife smacked the husband with a frying pan again.
“What was that for?” said the annoyed husband.
“Your horse called.”
Blonde Joke: The Welcome Mat
How can you tell if a blonde has been using your lawn mower?
When your welcome mat is ripped to shreds.
When your welcome mat is ripped to shreds.
Blonde Joke: The Farm
Frustrated about being called a blonde, the blonde dyed her hair red. One day, the blonde with the red-dyed hair was driving down the freeway when she spotted a farm to the right and drove to the farm. When she got there, she saw many sheep in the fields. Wanting one, she asked the farmer if she could have one of the sheep if she guessed the correct number of sheep in the fields. She guessed right. Suprised, the farmer let her into the fields to get one of the sheep. As she was closing up the car, the farmer stopped her and said, “If I can guess the true color of you hair, can I have my dog back?”
Blonde Joke: The Tricycle
How can you tell if a tricycle belongs to a blonde? When it has a kickstand.
Blonde Joke: Radio
Did you hear about the blonde who got an A.M. radio? It took her months to figure out that she could play it at night.
Paper Shredder Joke
The new employee stood before the paper shredder lookjing confused. “Need some help?” asked the secretary.
“Yes,” he replied, “how does this thing work?”
“Oh it’s simple,” said the secretary as she grabbed the report out of his hand and shoved it into the shredder.
Still looking confused, the man said, “Thanks, but where do the copies come out?
“Yes,” he replied, “how does this thing work?”
“Oh it’s simple,” said the secretary as she grabbed the report out of his hand and shoved it into the shredder.
Still looking confused, the man said, “Thanks, but where do the copies come out?
Anniversary Joke
It was a couples anniversary and the wife says, “Do you remember when you proposed to me? And I was so overwhelmed that I didn’t talk for an hour?” The husband replied, “Yes honey, it was the happiest hour of my life.”
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