Jungle Joke
Q: Why is it dangerous to do math in the jungle? A: If you add 4 and 4, you get 8!
Mummy Joke
Q: Why could’t the mummy answer the telephone? A: He was all tied up.
Funny Mouse Joke
Q: What kind of animal needs oiling? A: A mouse. It squeaks.
Stupid Apple Joke
Q: What kind of apple isn’t an apple? A: A pineapple.
Stupid Animal Joke
Q: What animal breaks the law? A: A cheetah.
Funny Moon Joke
Q:When is the moon heaviest? A:When it is full.
Bush and the Puzzle
It was a calm day and nothing had happened at the White House until Bush called for Cheney to help him on a puzzle. “Hey, can you help me on this rooster puzzle?” Bush asked.
“Sure, I’ll be right in,” replied Cheney.
As soon as Cheney got in, he said, “Bush, put the corn flakes back in the box!”
“Sure, I’ll be right in,” replied Cheney.
As soon as Cheney got in, he said, “Bush, put the corn flakes back in the box!”
Elephant and Kangaroo
Q: What happens when you mix an elephant with a kangaroo? A: Big holes all over Austrailia.
Bar
Two guys walk into a bar. Well, that was stupid because the first guy would have seen it….Moths
Rufus went to the store and bought a box of mothballs; the following day, he came back and bought a dozen more boxes. “Say,” said the clerk, “didn’t you just buy a box yesterday?” “I did,” said Rufus, “but dang, those moths fly so fast there’re hard to hit!”Bug
Q: What’s the last thing that goes through a bugs mind when it hits a windshield? A: Its rear.
Blonde Jokes
Part 1 Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
A: Tell her to go into a round room and pee in a corner.
Part 2
Q: How does a blonde confuse you?
A: She tells you she did.
A: Tell her to go into a round room and pee in a corner.
Part 2
Q: How does a blonde confuse you?
A: She tells you she did.
Stupid Blonde Joke
Q: What falls faster, a rock or a blonde? A: A rock because a blonde would have to stop and ask for directions.
Funny Blonde Joke
Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A: Gifted
A Good Shot
Tired of hearing how he was the greatest shot in the state, Frank bet Oscar that if they went in the woods, he could find an animal he couldn’t hit. Oscar’s ego was such that he accepted the bet willingly, and the next morning the two men went tramping through the woods. Suddenly Frank spotted a squirrel at the top of a distant tree. The towering oak had to be a thousand yards away… beyond the range of his companion’s shotgun. “There,” he said, “Hit that squirrel.”
Taking aim, Oscar fired; an instant later the squirrel scurried down the tree.
Frank beamed, “Well ole pal, looks like you lose.”
“Lose?” Oscar declared. “You just witnessed a miracle.”
“What miracle is that?”
“A squirrel running with it’s heart shot out.”
Taking aim, Oscar fired; an instant later the squirrel scurried down the tree.
Frank beamed, “Well ole pal, looks like you lose.”
“Lose?” Oscar declared. “You just witnessed a miracle.”
“What miracle is that?”
“A squirrel running with it’s heart shot out.”
Hockey
Did you hear about the hockey team that drowned during spring training?George W. Bush
Bush, and two rich guys were flying in a plane with over a million dollars inside. Bush opened the door of the plane and threw 100 one dollar bills out of the plane.
“I just made 100 people happy!” Bush said.
The first rich guy throws a million one dollar bills out of the plane and says, “I just make a million people happy!”
The second rich guy grabbed Bush and threw him out of the plane.
“I just made the world happy!” said the second guy.
“I just made 100 people happy!” Bush said.
The first rich guy throws a million one dollar bills out of the plane and says, “I just make a million people happy!”
The second rich guy grabbed Bush and threw him out of the plane.
“I just made the world happy!” said the second guy.
Stupid Hillbilly
The Briton, the Canadian, and the hillbilly were all washed ashore on an uncharted island. The only food and drink came from coconuts, and after several days they began to despair. One morning , however, a lantern washed ashore, and the Briton picked it up.More despairing than hopeful, he rubbed it; Out came a genie, who promised to give each of the men one wish.
His eyes wide with thanksgiving, the Briton said, “I wish I was back at my cottage at Ipswich!”
The genie snapped his fingers, and the Briton was gone.
The Canadian said, “I wish I was back at my home in Gananoque!”
The genie snapped his fingers and the Canadian was gone.
Looking around the hillbilly began to weep.
“I–I’m so lonely,” he wailed, “I wish the other two guys were back.”
His eyes wide with thanksgiving, the Briton said, “I wish I was back at my cottage at Ipswich!”
The genie snapped his fingers, and the Briton was gone.
The Canadian said, “I wish I was back at my home in Gananoque!”
The genie snapped his fingers and the Canadian was gone.
Looking around the hillbilly began to weep.
“I–I’m so lonely,” he wailed, “I wish the other two guys were back.”
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