Stupid Joke's Part 4

Stupid Dog Joke

What do you call a dog that shreds things?

A tear-ier!

Stupid Diharrea Joke

Did you know that diharrea was hereditary?

It runs in our jeans.

Stupid Wall Joke

Q: What invention made it possible for humans to walk through walls?

A: The door

Funny Conversation Joke

John and Mike were sitting on the couch watching tv when John said, “I think I’m going to divorce my wife.”

“Why would you do that?” asked Mike.
“Well she doesn’t talk a lot.”
“Be careful John, women like that are hard to find.”

The Christmas Tradition Joke

It was the day before Christmas and as usual, Santa was stressed.

Just as Santa was finishing his morning drink, his wife told him that her mother was coming over; which made Santa even more stressed.
After hearing this, Santa went to go check on the reindeer when he found out that three reindeer were about to give birth, and two reindeer had run away and they were heaven knows where.
Stressed and worried, Santa went to load the toys into the sleigh when suddenly one of the floorboards broke and all the toys were scattered.
Frustrated, Santa went into the kitchen to drink some eggnog. Finding out that the elves had drunk all the eggnog, he threw the glass jug on the floor and glass flew everywhere.
Just then, the doorbell rang. Santa stomped towards the door and threw it open. There stood a small, cute, little angel.
“Hello there! I’m the Christmas tree angel and I have come to bring you a happy Christmas tree!” said the little angel. “Where would you like me to put it?”
And so began the tradition of the angel on top of the Christmas tree.

Revolving Door Joke

Did you hear about the couple that met in a revolving door?

They’re still going around together.

Stupid Person Joke

Then there was this blonde who refused to sit near the window of a plane because she just had her hair done.

School Joke

“Can anyone tell me,” asked the teacher, “why the Middle Ages are often called the Dark Ages?”

  Sally raised her hand and shouted, “Because they had so many knights?”

Salesperson Joke

The neatly dressed salesman stopped a man in the street and asked, “Sir, would you like to buy a toothbrush for ten dollars?”

  Agast, the man said, “I should say not. That’s robbery!”
  The salesman seemed hurt. “Well, then, how about a homemade brownie for five cents?”
  This seemed fair, and the man handed a nickel to the salesman. Unwrapping the brownie, he took a bite; suddenly, the man spit out the mouthful.
  “Say,” he snarled, “this brownie tastes horrible!”
  “It is,” replied the salesman. “Wanna buy a toothbrush?”

Dining Joke

“Waiter!” shouted the furious diner, “how dare you serve me this! There’s a twig in my soup!”

  “My apologies, “said the waiter. “I’ll inform the branch manager.”
 

Political Joke

A doctor, a physicist, and a politician were arguing about whose profession was the oldest.

“Surely mine is the oldest,’ boasted the doctor. “When Eve was created from Adam’s rib, that was a medical phenomenon.”
“True,” said the physicist, “but before that order came from chaos. Only a physicist could have done that.”
 ”Excuse me,” noted the politician, “but first someone had to create the chaos…….”

Parent Joke

“Jimmy, you’re a pig!” yelled the annoyed father. “You do know what a pig is don’t you?”

 ”Yes sir,” replied the lad. “It’s a hog’s son.”

Newspaper Headline Joke

A science reporter had been waiting for his entire career to be able to write the headline; finally NASA obliged. They sent a bunch of cows into space aboard the payload bay of the shuttle, and the next day the newspaper told all about “The Herd Shot Around the World.” 

Moron Jokes

These two morons wondered into the zoo one night, and as chance would have it, they found themselves walking past the lion’s cage. Making a great deal of noise as they stumbled past, they woke the king of the beasts and he let out a mighty roar.

“Lordy! Let’s get out of here!” said one moron.
“Nuts to that,” said the other. “I’m stayin’ to see the movie!”

Stupid Moron Joke

The moron came home from the first day on the job. His wife noticed that he was looking a little peaked and asked, “Honey, are you feeling all right?”

 ”Not really,” he replied. “I’m nauseous from sitting backward on the train.”
 ”Poor dear,” she said. “Why didn’t you ask the guy sitting across from you to switch seats?”
 ”I couldn’t,” the moron replied. “There was no one there.”

Another Stupid Moron Joke

Then there was this moron abortion clinic: the patients had a twelve-month wait.

Funny and Stupid Moron Joke

Which was worse than the moronic mother who said to her pregnant daughter, “Don’t worry. Maybe it isn’t yours.”

Moronic Mother Joke

Then there was this moron’s mother, who was so proud when her son won a gold medal at the Olympics, that she had it bronzed.  

Yet Another Funny and Stupid Moron joke

The moron noticed a student walking up and down the street with a sign the shape of a hamburger that read, “Free Big Mac!” Strolling over with a look of concern, the moron asked, “Why? What did he do?”

Blonde in Library Joke

One day, a blonde stolls in a library and yells, “Yeah…umm…I’d like to get a cheeseburger, some fries, and a medium Coke. The librarian looked at the blonde and said, “Miss, this is a library. The blonde notices her mistake and says quiety, ”Ohhh…sorry…um..I’d like a cheesburger, some fries, and a medium Coke.